Job: Local Government Officer

CAREER RECORD:

Best Batting: 59 not out
Best Bowling: 6 for 32
Best Catch: Omar Shakour's beard catching fire from a Flaming Sambuca, Dutchmill, 2001

Most memorable moment in your cricketing career: 1) See above. 2) J. Parriss attempting to converse in Danish with a table of drunk Geordies, Bellingham 2000

Favourite Holiday Destination: Paris

Favourite TV shows: Dodgeball, Monster Truck Marathons, Cartoons

If I could change one thing about cricket I would: 1) Set fire to player's facial hair to speed up glacial over-rates
Permit the use of random electrical shocks to captains who insist on changing field placings every ball.

Ambition in life: To reach the sandwiches before their customary manhandling every fortnight at Harlaw

How I describe myself: Handsome, charming, conceited, myopic

Is the glass half-empty of half-full?: Depends on the pub